Larson does LA
by Langwurst
Summary: Larson meets Angel in this rip roaring joy of literature.


You know the kind of guy who always does bad stuff and wonders why his life sucks? Well that used to be me. Then I fell in love with a beautiful woman who changed my life after falling in love with the woman of my dreams and decided to buff up my tarnished soul. My name is Larson. I'm just trying to be a better person.

I'd been on my quest for several months when I first discovered it wasn't as original as I had first thought. As it turns out fighting for redemption and a girl was more popular than I had first imagined. This is the story of how I meet such a champion as my self In the small town of Los Angles.

Larson had followed the screams to the alley. Standing over a young woman was what clearly was a vampire. Larson didn't take to carrying stakes around nowadays, he found if he didn't refrigerate them they had a tendency to go off after awhile. So having no alternative he simply ran at the vampire in an adaptation of a rugby tackle;. They fell to the floor each trying to get the advantage, rolling over and over Larson found himself on top he started punching his adversary but this plan hit a glitch when Larson received a purse to the face.

'He saved me you idiot.'

'Wh?' But the vampire had by then made use of Larson's confusion and had him thrust up against a wall with a stake held to Larson's chest.

'But your human?'

'Run.' Screamed Larson to the lady, whilst preparing himself for the embrace of death.

'Wait. No not you, you run along. You where trying to save her?'

'For a vampire you are really dumb.' Larson tried to head butt Angel, the vampire however was too quick and threw him back up against the wall.

'I don't know what your game is but get the hell out of my city.'

'And leave you to prey on innocent woman you monster'

'I wasn't attacking anybody you dumb-ass.'

'Wait you what?'

'What you don't seemed to have grasped is that I was saving the young lady not attacking anybody.'

'Who the hell where you saving her from, vampire.'

' You see those little piles of dust.'

'Oh. I apologise now can you remove the stake.' Both men relaxed slightly. Larson didn't question a vampire doing good work after all he had met Dracula who was quite a nice old boy and had gone on to date his mother for a few months before they broke up because he claimed she was sucking the life out of him.

'I haven't seen many other champions in town what were you doing here?'

'Tracking a group of demons they killed some kid down south.'

'There leader a tall red thing one horn?'

'Haven't had a look at him but matches descriptions, yeah.'

'Your close they've gone to ground around here. You say you've been tracking them for a while right? You got a place to stay?'

'Last three months and no.'

'Let us pick your brain and you can stay at mine tonight.'

'You got enough room?' Angel just smiled.

'Angel by the way'

'Larson.'

They had first made there way to a bar that intersected there current location and that of the hotel. Angel didn't drink to get drunk as A, he felt that as a champion of the human race he should set an example when he remembers and B, as a Vampire he had a literally a constitution of mystical proportions, however matching Larson drink for drink he was defiantly feeling the effects.

'n then she say, she say, she _said_ that we couldn't see each other cause, cause she was cookie dough! I mean, I mean, err what do I mean.'

'Bloody great bunny rabbit one minute puff then bunny rabbit.'

'So like OK there's a good re, good re, good reason why we you know shouldn't be around each other I mean poof one moment soul all gone...'.

'and she's evil right so I know I shouldn't but the alternative was shooting yetis.'

'Yetis? Hah there's no such thing.'

'Tell that to Frenchy.'

'Your old boss he sounds he sounds err.'

'Poof all gone.'

'Goo goo good point I'll have another good bar whatsit.'

'Keep?'

'No.'

'Maid?'

'No.'

'Wench?'

'Thatsit I'll have another bar wench.'

'I think there all out.'

'All out? What happened?'

'I think you drank em all.'

'That's a lie! I haven't touched a drop.'

'No more alcohol?'

'Oh alcohol nah dusn, dusn look like it.'

'Better you know sober up then.'

'Ok.'

'So where to now.'

'My place it's just round the corner.'

'So you rent some rooms here?'

'No, this is home sweet home.'

'But it's an entire hotel.' As they entered the hotel Cordelia appeared from behind the desk.

'Who's this tall hunk of handsome?'

'Cordelia, Larson, Larson, Cordelia. Larson is going to help us with the Renars demon case.'

'Are we paying him?' Angel looked at Larson who shook his head.

'No. Just bed and board will do me.'

'Then it's great to have you on board.'

'Wesley we got a guest.' Walking out of a back office Wesley placed a book on the counter and proceeded coolly across the floor until he fell over a box, trying to regain his composure he half fell half walked to Larson where he took his hand.

'Wesley Windom-Price. A pleasure to meet err Larson was it?'

'Yeah, Just Larson.'

'Well gosh just, gosh if it isn't Larson what you doing here?'

'Little Whinne Burkle? Well I'll be.' The two met half way across the floor warmly embracing each other.

'You two err know each other.'

'Why yes Larson's my first cousin twice removed on my aunts side, anyway everyone is related to everybody in Texas anyway but not in an icky way and I'm babbling again aren't I?'

'Little bit.'

'So Fred where you been your Ma called about six years ago said you was dead?'

'Oh I was trapped in Piliea but its ok because Angel went got me out.'

'You should of said I'd of come saved you.'

'I heard. You're a super hero now, Its like I got a whole family of Super-heroes Except for cousin Eric Bana but you know you can't have everything.'

'Who's this with his eyes all over my girl?' Gunn had just walked and only a slight hint of anything other than amusement entered his voice.

'This is Larson they're cousins.'

'But it turns out it's OK because everyone's related in Texas.' Everyone looked at Cordelia. 'What she said it.'

'That your truck outside? Larson nodded. 'Well the guys got taste if nothing else, names Charles Gunn but everyone usually calls me Gunn.'

'Everyone just calls me Larson.'

'How about you guys go grab something to eat and catch up, we need to research anyway.'

'You mean I got here just in time for some good old fashioned book learning? Damn.'

'Sounds good If I know Fred she knows the best taco place in LA already.'

'Gosh yes its just around the corner.' With that the pair of Texans were gone, Gunn looked lovingly out the door.

'Cheer up lover boy we get to kill something soon.'

'Ooh really?'

The meal had been good as was the conversation, Larson didn't talk much encase anybody figured out he wasn't the smartest blunt instrument in a pile of blunt instruments, where as Fred often didn't stop, It was an equation that had worked well for many years in the heat of a Texan day back home. They were walking down yet another alley which Larson reflected this town seemed to be full of.

'So then I said..'

'Ssh.' Warned Larson he inspected their surroundings, taking his cousins hand he started leading out the way they had come in but found it blocked, turning he found the other end similarly blocked and demons had started walking down the various fire exits too. Pushing Fred down into a gap between two garbage cans he handed her a gun.

'Call your friends.'

'Ahh Larson we meet at last.' Larson was being addressed by a tall stately demon with one horn on his head.

'You killed that kid.' It wasn't a question.

'And many more besides, you have presumed to hunt us, you consider us to be less than you what is the difference?' Larson shrugged he wasn't bothered by philosophical angst. 'So unoriginally we once again turn to violence.' Larson once again shrugged and put a bullet in the apparition's brain. All hell broke lose.

Fred tried her mobile it wasn't working again. A demon spotting her started towards Fred, she shot it in the leg which would have only enraged it where it not stampeded by his fellow demons. Desperately dialling the number again she was again greeted by the cheery no signal ring. Ah well she figured they were only two or three blocks from the hotel, she screamed.

'Eureka!.'

'You found something English?'

'The Renars demon may be instantly killed by forceful application of pressure to the back of the head or top of the spine.'

'You mean we hit it hard enough and it dies? Thank god we got you here.' Cordelia fell backward and was caught by Wesley.

'ngh, Fred's in trouble, alleyway three blocks away.' The door was already open, Angel had heard the scream.

A lull in the fighting had occurred when Angel jumped off the roof top into the alley.

'How you doing?'

'I shot the sheriff.'

'I missed the deputy. Said Fred

'Did you bring any spare weapons?'

'Err no. Sorry.'

'I'm almost out.'

'I got a clip and a half left.'

'Keep it Fred you'll need it.' The demons started their next charge. Larson shot three bullets killing four demons as he threw his gun at the last. As the wave broke over the trio Larson punched the first and Angel introduced axe, to demon whilst Fred fired with slightly less accuracy.

'You know you guys would have been finished had I not turned up on time.'

'Yeah yeah.'

'Wait I? I think I did quite well for myself.'

'As If! I was the entire cavalry.' The six had retreated to the lobby of the hotel and had ordered in victory Chinese food as well as further tacos.

'So its's like that every day here?'

'Yeah pretty much.'

'You know we could use you here if you decided to settle down.'

'No, I thought about it guys but there's a little lady waiting for me in England.'

'I my self know the feeling, I left many a bleeding heart when I crossed the Atlantic.'


End file.
